Inspiration of this post comes from questions such as "What if I fail?" "I'm not doing well and want to give up." "What will my parents think if I don't graduate?" or "I don't know how to stop my thoughts from thinking negative;" "I just worry a lot." along with similar questions and statements. So the following is what I have learned to do from my lifetime of being in that kind of headspace once upon a time.
Firstly, if you find yourself in this kind of predicament, I have some tips for those willing to try.
The very second the negative thought enters the brain, try to interrupt the idea immediately with maybe pinching herself and saying "No!" out loud. Or try other things to interrupt the thought if any doubts continue. For example, as soon as one hears "what if..." followed by something bad, try physically shaking the head quickly side to side and say "no" out loud followed by smiling and looking up at the ceiling or doing something silly. I realize this may sound funny however I highly encouraged anyone who is open to trying it out(along with anything else one might find out of the ordinary like hopping on one foot and saying things like "STOP" "NOT NOW" or even "NEVER AGAIN" and to use try and use these techniques--not only regarding grades and failing--but also anything that one may encounter in life. Once a person continues to interrupt the grim outlook with the most bizarre ideas, try replacing the grim thought with a positive outlook and a plan of action on how to move forward.
To take one earlier example question, such as “what if I fail?” into consideration—Remember, after immediately carrying out a sudden behavior change to stop that kind of thinking, one can replace it with thoughts like “How can I learn from this experience?” “What do I really want and what am I willing to do to get there?” “Who is the best person that I can reach out to for help?” “Do I love what I am doing?” Once one has answers to a few of these, the actions taken are more proactive versus falling back into a pattern of negative mind dialogues.
If readers recall, I last wrote about feeling stuck and having a back up plan--this idea is also related.
One idea I have advised students in my day job who tend to feel that they have already tried going to their professor and TA multiple times and still feel that they are not learning the material--instead of thinking negative thoughts, break the pattern and go seek advice from your department counselor as they may have supplemental tutoring resources you may not know of. It's always worth a try!
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Side note: After giving this advice, I imagine some might wonder how I came up with the idea of interrupting a debilitating thought. I honestly can't remember just one source. Through my life after college, I read some books such as Wayne Dyer's "The Power of Intention," "There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem," and "Wishes Fulfilled," to name a few. I also remember that in days where I was sad and going through life challenges (my early 20s), a friend gave me some of his CDs by Tony Robbin's called something like Personal Power in 10 days and I applied some of his methods to my life. Combined with listening to lectures on PBS or whatever self-help I've resonated with, I know that interrupting my thoughts and replacing them with proactive useful ideas over the years have helped train my brain not to stay stuck in the downward spiral for long. I notice that it also helps to have a great support network--whether they are family or friends. One good person is all it takes to help inspire us to be better people and not fall into the negative mind trap.
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Disclaimer--Remember this is one tool to try, based on what has happened to me in my life. If one is clinically depressed, it takes a professional to diagnose and treat such a condition. There are multiple resources for mental health, so it's best to do more research and find the best possible option for oneself.
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