First of all there is no "easy" way to deal with people who complain or share negative thoughts and emotions on a constant basis. Depending on the scenario, I've indicated a couple below, along with possible solutions.
Scene 1: You are a college student and your roommate is the culprit. You thought college would be a great experience, however your roommate who was your friend in high school has been complaining about several things. For example, their physical appearance, not being good enough, not getting any good dates, and more. You find yourself having to constantly praise him/her and try your best to continue to find unique ways of uplifting this person. It starts becoming exhausting and you don't know what else to do, so you start to avoid this person, even finding reasons to come home late at night so that you won't have to converse and you can simple say you are tired and get ready for bed.
Solution A:
If the friendship matters to you and you would like to maintain it long term, try to schedule a roommate date for ice/cream or coffee/tea or even a meal (breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner). During this meal, try a heart to heart conversation letting him/her know your concerns. If the friendship also matters to that person, you will notice that he/she will hear you out, and be mindful of what grief they may be causing you and choose to rectify the situation or find a compromise. This talk can also help you decide if the friendship is worth keeping. If the response is not something that feels right and good (for example if the response is that something like your friend is telling you that you are out of your mind, paranoid, or you are being blamed for anything, or other negative outcome), then it's best to take a step back and re-examine the friendship. If this is the case, you may want to let the person know that the friendship is not going to work for you and hope that you can be civil while you finish out the lease agreement.
Solution B:
If the friendship does not matter to you anymore, nor do you feel it's worth investing time repairing, you may go on avoiding if you feel it's the best possible choice and hopefully you both can remain civil with each other until the lease ends.
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Scene 2:
You are a working professional and the negativity comes from one or several coworkers. You may have tried to approach each person individually to no avail or you have tried to bury yourself in your work to ignore any destructive behaviors but perhaps you find yourself noticing cliques that seem to thrive in gossip. However the longer you remain silent, the more you feel tortured whenever you are exposed to others who are either passive aggressive bullies, who complain about the job itself or others, or perhaps when you observe others not doing as much work and getting away with unfavorable actions.
Solution A:
Similar to the above, you may need to ask yourself if maintaining a good working relationship is important to you. If so and if you haven't already, try scheduling a break or meal to try and talk to the person that you interact with the most in your workplace. It would be best to schedule these kind of meetings separately with people so it won't come off as an ambush. Once you reveal your concerns, you will find out soon enough how the discussion goes on how you feel afterwards. If you are left at all feeling like the person does not see eye-to-eye with you or if you feel like the conversation didn't go anywhere, then the next thing to decide is if you would like to continue in that specific workplace. If so, and if the situation continues to get worse, you may want to consider taking your concerns to upper management and move up the chain if need be. It could also help to have a mediator iron out any inequalities in the workplace or any other unfairness you may be experiencing.
Solution B:
If you are the type of person who does not care to maintain civil/good working relationships, and if you would rather bury yourself in your work (especially if you are good and passionate about your job); then even though others are complainers, etc.; you can learn to master the art of not letting anything adverse affect your work! Thus you may continue to ignore everyone bringing you grief for as long as you can handle it or until another promotion lands your way.
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While there may be other possible solutions to each scenario, the solutions offered may help one develop peace of mind, if that is ultimately what is desired. Through my life, I've gone through phases as either an avoider or confronter. If you are a confronter, it helps to have genuine & diplomatic ways of presenting concerns. We are allowed to pick and choose the one that contributes most to our well-being. It would be great to hear other takes on the matter, so don't be shy to add comments!
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